Ha ha ha, Oops!

I just realized that my profile picture of my weight loss journey has a GIANT Black Forest Cake on it! :P

Ugh :P

OK so.... I am extremely mad at myself. I booked my trip to FR less than a week ago and had all of these good intentions on getting a head start on things. After all I don't want to start eating worse before I go gallivanting off to Utah to better my life, health, mind and appearance! That would be ridiculous! I don't want to gain weight before I go, so that all of the effort I put in at the Ridge takes me back to the weight I was at the time of booking the trip! GRRRRR! If I keep acting like I did tonight that's EXACTLY what will happen!

I was sucked into the vortex of `shopping while hungry`. All the experts say DO NOT go shopping hungry. Tonight I didn`t listen! I came back with Oreos, brownies, bagels and Taquitos! And I didn't just have a couple of Taquitos I ate 3 quarters of the damn box! I would have ate the WHOLE box, but it wouldnt fit on the baking pan!!! LOL As usual it felt great at the time. Now I am sitting here watching a movie feeling like I have a stomach full of lead, feeling slightly nauseous. Blah..

I cant undo what was done. I have a huge urge to beat myself up over it. I'm not going to though. All I can do is promise myself to up the effort 100%.. pick myself up and brush myself off..

I am done with making myself sick with the sudden voracious binging!!!

I am hopeful that my 4 weeks at the Ridge will be successful at getting the cravings out of my system. I'm hoping it`ll be long enough to get through the withdrawals and get my appetite under control. From what I hear that's exactly what will happen. It has to happen. I AM SO MAD AT MEEEEE!! That's the last I'm going to say about that. I'm dropping it now. Tomorrow is a new day!

73 MORE DAYS!
Is it too early to pack? LOL

Saying Goodbye Is Never Easy :(

I never thought this day would come. The thought of saying goodbye is never easy. As far back as I can remember we were always together. Through thick and thin, good times and bad, late nights with a bottle of rum...you were there.
I guess I am most afraid of the fact that I will be carrying on the rest of my life without you.

We started off seeing each other occasionally.. then we were inseparable. I took you with me to work, to visit friends and for those long drives. People told me our relationship wasn't healthy and that you were bad for me. I ignored them for years. I tried to leave you so many times, but I just craved you.
You were the first thing I saw when I awoke, and the last thing before I went to sleep..a day without you was incomplete.
I remember those times when I was feeling down and tired.. you brought me up, made me alive!

Unfortunately all good things must come to an end..I am moving on.. there is no place in my life for you anymore. This will be so hard for me at first, but eventually my thirst for you will fade.

Goodbye my love...my Diet Pepsi...

Getting Used To All This! :P

Okay.. SO! I am completely new to this blogging thing.. I think it will be a little hard to get used to, but I will do my best. I hope it turns out at least slightly interesting, and amusing at least!

The reason I have decided to write this blog is so my family and friends can follow my journey at "Fitness Ridge" ( from this point it will be referred to as FR) My visit to FR is booked for Feb 7, 2010 to March 7, 2010. Being that I will be away for 4 weeks (EEK!!) this will be a good way for everyone to keep tabs on the fun/ challenges/ torture I will be enduring while away. I *want* to go as far as posting my before weight and measurements, but as of now I am chickening out. I will eventually make myself do it.. otherwise whats the point?

Now, anyone who knows me knows that I am deathly shy! I have come out of my shell a bit in the last year, but the shell is definitely still there and made out of solid concrete :) Justine knows this first hand right Justine? ;) Anyway..the initial feeling I had when I jumped in to this trip so suddenly was HUGE excitement, and sheer PANIC. I was so ecstatically happy that it actually brought me to tears. Behind the happy tears was the panic. I have never travelled ANYWHERE alone (other than Winnipeg Manitoba- but that doesn't count) and suddenly I will be flying to Las Vegas NV and shuttling from there to St George Utah (the location of the resort) Needless to say I am NERVOUS as hell :P

I am very excited to get pushed to work out for 6 hours a day. I actually LOVE working out (you wouldn't know by looking at me LOL) and I cant wait for the scenic hikes. I am dying to try the kickboxing class. Its something I have always wanted to try, but I have never had the guts (cue the concrete shell) At FR I wont have a choice... that's what scares me and excites me the most! I can NOT believe I will be travelling by myself, arriving by myself, sharing a room with a TOTAL STRANGER, and have no choice but to deal with it!

The main reasons I am afraid of sharing a room with a stranger are the following:
1. What if I snore
2. What if THEY snore
3. I am known to talk in my sleep
4. As well as talking I am also known to walk around as well as rub the walls??
5. What if they're mean??

I think it will do wonders for me.. I think this journey Will be 100% life changing. I am very excited to bring my fat percentage down and my muscle mass up, but more than ANYTHING I am excited to finally face my "social" fears and become confident! That is a word that is not, nor has it ever been, in my vocabulary.

The excitement and anticipation is killing me and I apologize to everyone who is going to have to hear about it for the next 2.5 months :) I have been reading the blogs of past visitors to FR and cant wait to experience what they did. Almost everyone you hear from on the blogs or the FR Facebook site have only amazing things to say about the people, the food, the scenery and the workouts. My turn is coming!

I am currently contemplating a change in my trip down. Having never been to Vegas, am tempted to fly down a day early so spend a few hours seeing the sights and exploring. This falls into the 'out of character thing' seeing I'm not used to doing things alone, but that's all the more reason to do it isn't it??

I KNOW this is going to make a difference. Some of you might think I'm nuts. After all, Im the girl who has jumped of EVERY bandwagon ( 6 Week Total Body Makeover, Weight Watchers, Nutri System, Boot Camp and even liposuction) They were all successfull but short lived. I think that by being at FR for 4 weeks working out all day long will be enough to create a habit. By the sounds of it the nutritional and cooking classes will help me to take it all home and stick with it.

I have rambled on enough.. hopefully this isn't painful to read. Hopefully it also makes the anticipation of the next 2 months more bearable for me!

75 MORE DAYS!!!